I am so proud to be one of the contributors to Gayle Berry's new book Love Letters to New Mothers. I mentioned this book in a previous blog post here.
This book is a beautiful collection of wisdom from mothers across the world for new mothers. Blossom & Berry teachers and friends of Blossom & Berry have shared their experiences of motherhood honestly and authentically to support new mothers through a series of love letters. What is extra wonderful about this beautiful book, is that all profits go to PANDAS Foundation (reg charity 1149485) and Blossom & Berry’s charitable project with Love Support Unite (reg charity 1162406) supporting mother and baby health in Malawi.
In this blog article I would like to share with you my own contribution to the book which can be found on page 49.
Welcome to the world of motherhood - a crazy, exciting, wonderful world that I never knew existed before my little one was born.
Motherhood is a huge adventure, a new exciting challenge – tiring, beautiful, hard work and full of love all in the same breath.
For me motherhood has been a journey that I was really not prepared for and a lot harder than I expected. To be honest I really don’t know what I expected when I decided that I wanted to become a mother, but what has been surprising is just now much it has changed me as a woman and altered the course of my life. I hope this does the same to you too.
Whether you are a pregnant mama or a new mama with a tiny newborn looking to gain advice, I would like to say that motherhood is an awesome journey and I am so glad that you have decided to enter the most special phase of your life so far.
Now some of you may think – special phase? Awesome journey? Love? – seriously – I’m shattered, tired, broken, exhausted, confused, unprepared, crying all the time, anxious… Don’t worry, that’s perfectly normal and perfectly ok. I was there. I felt those feelings, had those thoughts and cried those tears too.
Becoming a mother is not easy.
Becoming a mother does not come easy.
Becoming a mother may never be easy.
But becoming a mother is like discovering a superpower that has been lying dormant for years. If you trust your intuition, you will know what to do and you will be the amazing mother that I know you can be.
Here in the UK, society and the media seem to think that women can be perfect mothers, have the perfect career, have the perfect body and rear the perfect child – oh and do it all with minimal support. Really? And just what is perfect? And why do we have all this pressure? It’s just so unfair and all so impossible.
It takes more than one person to raise a child – it takes a family, a community - it takes help and support. So when you need help mama, ASK FOR IT! Call in all those favours. Don’t ever feel like you have to struggle on your own. Asking for help is not failing – it is being wise. It is doing the best for your baby.
As for balancing work and your baby – just do your best. Take your time. Breathe, stop and enjoy. These first few months only happen once and although tiring and exhausting and demanding both physically and mentally, your baby is only a baby once. Never worry what other people think or say – just do what you can and if you can’t do it, does it really matter?
Now don’t even start me on the post-baby body stuff. As a yoga teacher myself I am very aware of the pressure on new mums, including myself to ‘get back into shape’ after baby has arrived. What does this even mean? I have a shape. It might be a different shape to before baby arrived, but I have a shape. Is it any worse than before? hell no! NEWS FLASH - I just grew a whole human being. The milk I produce feeds my baby and is her 100% source of sustenance (and that did not come easy - don’t even start me on support and help for breastfeeding and new mums). Do I fit into pre-baby clothes? Nope with a capital N, but I have the super power to create life and sustain it. Beat that superman! I wouldn’t change an inch of me and nor should you. Maybe I should eat a little less cake but hell I’m tired, so I think I’m allowed a few treats and so are you mama.
I also want to say that everything will be ok. Take one day at a time. Every tiny success is a win for team mama. If you manage a shower today – go you. If you manage to get your baby to sleep – go you. If you manage a lucid conversation with another adult today – go you. If you finally manage to breastfeed without problems (breastfeeding is NOT EASY!) – go you. If you finally get your baby to take a bottle – go you! If you sleep when baby sleeps or do any little modicum of housework – go you! Any success, however small – go you!
Whatever decisions you make, whatever route you choose, whatever you feel and struggle with, it’s all ok. Give yourself a break, give yourself some rest and look after yourself you precious creature you.
You are amazing,
You are a life-creator.
You are doing your best and that is perfection.
You are a mama.
With love, hugs and bags of chocolate buttons."
Yoga teacher and new mama
About the Book:
Love Letters For New Mothers - Collected Wisdom from Mothers Across the World
by Blossom & Berry and friends
A beautiful collection of wisdom from mothers across the world for new mothers. Blossom & Berry teachers and friends of Blossom & Berry have shared their experiences of motherhood honestly and authentically to support new mothers through a series of love letters. The book covers all aspects of new mothering, includes inspirational quotes and encourages all mothers to reach out, connect and pass on their experience and wisdom.
All profits from the book go to PANADAS Foundation (reg charity 1149485) and Blossom & Berry’s charitable project with Love Support Unite (reg charity 1162406) supporting mother and baby health in Malawi.
“We are born of love. Love is our mother”- Rumi
To buy the book from my online shop click here.
To buy the book on Amazon click here.